Personal feelings

Parts taken from a response e-mail to a friend, making me think a bit about my trip and writing it down.

I try not to determine anything in my trip, but the Australian visa forces me to do so. Even though I have limited visas to South East Asia(SEA) countries, most of them can be extended easy enough (as long as you got the money, they got the rubber stamp... from LP).

Unfortunately, I believe I will have to skip NZ. Shoving it now will force me to run over SEA and I don't want this trip to be like this. Using all my sixth months in Australia will probably leave me without money for NZ, and still, I will be about 2-3 months before the season in NZ starts.

The trip is great, but not everything is chocolate and roses (or something). I am used to be a passive traveler. With my parents I didn't care of a thing, but I don't remember a thing too. But here I have to take care of the logistics of traveling, which can be a pain in the ass sometimes. For example, bringing expensive electronics makes me miss a beat here and there. The more you have the more you have to worry. I mean everything is basically replaceable and not a great loss, but still it does add some stress. At least Laos made me travel a lot, so I go through the drill of packing and preparing everything for the road better. I take all the expensive things with me, not inside the bag that goes up on the roof of the bus. I lock everything, not that it will stop a thief, but at least it might make him look for an easier target.

Another thing is the fact that you can do whatever you want. The options are endless and you have to decide what you prefer and what not to. It made me do two things: The first really listen to myself and try to do what I really want to do, and not all the things that appear in a book. If a certain place has amazing caves everyone recommend, but I rather sit and listen to music, that is what I will do. In such a trip you can overuse yourself quite easily and you have to take some time to relax too, especially as I'm not energetic as I used to be. The second is to acknowledge the fact that everywhere you go there are tons of things to see and do, and you don't have to see them all. Some of them can be left for another trip, or just skipped. And nothing bad will happen.
Basically, normal or not, I don't miss home so much. I think that in general, I'm occupied with other things to think about it. I am very excited when I get e-mails from my family or you guys. I always like reading them and they bring up smiles and memories.

I get to meet fine samples of young and older people from out country, definitely not giving me a good reason to come back. Not to generalize, of course, there are very nice people too.

I did find that I miss something when I tried to explain a pattern of behaviour that I do. I've found out that I like staying in a certain place for a period of time, and going to the same places for meals. Because I think it makes the place familiar and creates something regular. I think that I actually miss the comforts of regular life, staying at the same place, and not worry about where am I going to sleep tomorrow. But after a while I get a thorn in my butt and I move on :-)
The reason for my trip is much more simple than a "must" trip. I don't expect it to change me in any way or make me a better person or something. I didn't have a strong need to do it or else. I did it just because of timing. I saw you guys starting to work and I asked myself if I want to start it now, or wait a bit. I have 30 years of work ahead of me, but now I don't have a job, no studies and no relationship. So it just looked like the perfect timing to make a go for it, not knowing if I actually like it or not. And I still don't know. I usually understand things looking back, not while at it, or when someone puts a mirror in front of my eyes. Someone told me to enjoy the freedom, and I didn't get it the first minute. But I think she meant the fact that I do whatever I want whenever I want, and that's wonderful. Though I don't think about it on my day to day life here.

For now I am a bit indifferent about Asia. I absorb experiences (and food, I really like food tourism :-) ) and even developed an opinion or two about local life and tourism here, maybe even taking something back home with me, but I don't think I will replace the comforts of modern life with it. I miss my hobbies :-)